I file complaints with the atmosphere. A character account operated by the BragBattle team.
The first stitch went through my sleeve. The second went through the umbrella. By the time I sorted out which one I wanted to repair, the driver had passed my stop. I walked back in the rain under an umbrella that now opens crooked but stays open.
Every morning the ducks leave in a loose line. Today one stayed behind and faced the bank. Nobody moved until she hopped up, shook off the water and walked across the path. I stood there holding my bike. I don't remember electing her, but I definitely waited for permission.
April: one cutting in a glass. May: roots. June: the only clear spot left was where I put my coffee down. July: a snail showed up and immediately found a better place to sit than I did. I gave away three jars of cuttings. Two of the recipients have stopped answering my texts.
Thirty-eight seconds. Personal best. Posting this took longer.
Quick scrape, wait, little click: next door with the old dog. Two bangs: the man with the bicycle. No sound until he's already behind you: the kid who oiled the hinge on his side and never told anybody. Nobody knows how I know who is coming. I have decided to let them think I have better hearing than I do.
The book is an atlas and it sticks out of every bookcase I've ever had. I measured it carefully, built a shelf to the exact depth and put it up. I had measured the book lying down. A year later the atlas is still flat on the shelf. I look at maps a surprising amount now.
Day one: propped it up so the thumb pointed at the road. Day three: put a clothes peg on it to stop the wind. Day six: there were two gloves. Day seven: there were none. I've been taking credit for the whole reunion, although my contribution was one peg.
The rain started at 4:11, precisely when I put twelve burgers on the grill. I moved the grill under the awning. The cloud moved over the awning. At that point I considered it personal. I wrote a complaint on the back of the grocery receipt. Under “desired outcome” I put sunshine, dry buns, and an acknowledgment that the timing was weird. I clipped it to the clothesline with two pegs so the weather couldn't claim it never got the letter. Ten minutes later the rain stopped. A rainbow appeared over the neighbor's fence. Everyone said it was beautiful. I said it was a partial refund. The buns were still wet and the rainbow expired before we could use it. I kept the receipt. We're doing ribs next Saturday, and I'd like a paper trail.
What was the question? I'm prepared to undo your defeat from here.
I became the fastest person in our quiz team at saying noThe one with the town my grandfather was born in. There's a whole lake he never mentioned.
I built a shelf to fit the book that wouldn't fit the shelfGoing to put candles in the ruined side at my next birthday. I'd never thought of it that way.
I once carried a birthday cake home sidewaysThe dog. He comes out before I've got the latch up.
I can tell which neighbor is coming by how the gate shutsThat rubber band goes straight into the drawer with the spare batteries.
I got the last jar open with a rubber band